Three Powerful Lessons from Journeying With Reclaimed

In this article, guest author Ben shares three powerful lessons he learned from going through the transformative 10-week journey at Reclaimed. Read below to be encouraged by someone who has made great strides in their journey to live free from porn.

Three Powerful Lessons from the Reclaimed 10-Week Journey

There are so many powerful and useful things that I have learned during my ten week journey through Reclaimed. I have learned the power of going back to the past and addressing the pains and unmet desires that often pull us into pornography. I’ve learned both the usefulness and the limits of short term solutions in my fight for freedom. I have experienced the love and support of other men all working together for the common goal of purity. I have learned all these great lessons and more. While all of these things are powerful, for me there were three things that really made the difference in my battle against porn.

Intentionality
I have struggled on and off (mostly on!) with porn for years. Throughout most of that time I would repeat an endless cycle of sin. I would struggle with temptation, give in, feel horrible, ask God for help and forgiveness, and then repeat. I would sometimes read a book on the topic, or share my struggle with another brother, which often helped for a short period of time until I would fall back into the cycle. The truth is, I desired freedom but I was not taking the intentional steps needed to overcome.

Freedom from sin does not happen by accident. Jesus told us that we must make every effort to be rid of sin in our lives, to the point that we may even gouge out our eye, or cut off our hand (Mat. 5:29,30). One of the most powerful things about Reclaimed is that we took intentional and practical steps to work towards freedom. I was deeply benefited by things like writing a mission statement with the truths of scripture, examining my environment and triggers, and thinking about past memories and experiences that were pivotal. All of these things were done with intention.

When we are faced with temptations we must be intentional. We must have a battle plan and a support system to call upon. If we think we can just magically fly through any temptation, Satan will surely win. If we, with purpose, can put on the full armor of God, we will be “able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” (Eph. 6:12) We must be intentional in our quest for total victory.

Transparency
The next defining lesson I learned is that of total transparency, or as we often call it, maximum visibility. I have often wanted to be honest about my sin, and even before Reclaimed, I had practiced accountability. The problem with my previous attempts at accountability is that I focused more on what I claimed to be “honesty” instead of transparency. I allowed myself to believe that I was being honest as long as I didn’t lie directly. So if my accountability partner asked a vague question like, “how are things going?” I could answer with an equally vague answer, “pretty good.” I fell into the trap of only revealing my sin if asked about or if my accountability software flagged something. This led to the terrible habit of finding ways to avoid getting caught so that I didn’t have to divulge my sin.

When I started Reclaimed I made the commitment to be totally transparent and truly honest. This meant that I would confess my sin whether it was asked about or not. This means that I would not only confess to looking at porn, but also to lustful thoughts and actions that go beyond what the world considers to be pornography.

1 John 1:5 speaks of the power of “walking in the light” instead of “walking in darkness.” The beautiful promise of this passage is that when we bring our sins out of the darkness and into the light we find fellowship, forgiveness, and full cleansing. One of the major keys to freedom is total transparency.

Identity
Lastly, and maybe most importantly for me, was the power of realizing my true identity in Christ. From the beginning of Reclaimed I found scriptural truths that affirmed who I was in Christ. For so many years I defined myself by my inadequacy and my failures. I thought of myself as weak, broken, insignificant, undesirable and useless. It was often these feelings that would drive me to seek relief in porn.

Going through Reclaimed I was reminded of the gospel truths I needed to hear. Though I may be weak, through Christ I am strong (2 Cor. 12:10). Though I may feel broken, through his wounds I am healed (1 Pet. 2:24). Though I may feel insignificant, I can know that I am a part of God’s chosen and special people (1 Pet. 2:9). Though I may feel undesirable, God loved me so much that he sent Jesus to the cross (John 3:16). Though I may feel useless, in Christ I can be useful to my Master and be ready for every good work (2 Tim. 2:21)

God made us in his image, for me to hate myself was to insult the image of God in me. This was a tough but powerful lesson I learned along my journey. Though the image of God in us may be marred by our sin, in Jesus that image is remade. 2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us that as we behold the glory of Christ, we are transformed into his image. Our identity, who we truly are, is defined by the image of our savior. When We realize the glorious image of God is part of our identity, it changes how we fight porn.

All of these lessons were not only important during my ten week journey. I have also come to realize that it is these things that will ensure my continued freedom. If I am to remain pure and free from porn I must continue to be intentional. I must make sure that I am being totally transparent. And I must continue to be who God made me to be.