Root Causes of Pornography Addiction – 10 Common Reasons

If you want to overcome a pornography addiction, identifying the root causes is an important first step. Read below to grow in your awareness and understanding of the root causes of pornography addiction – the revealing comes before the healing!

10 Common Root Causes Associated With Porn Addiction

Root Cause #1 – The Relationship Between Porn, Sex, and Your Brain

The first root cause we will discuss is the way your brain is wired to find pleasure in sex. We are simply hardwired to pursue sex and our brains will reward us richly for it, and this is most definitely NOT a bad thing. This serves many healthy purposes, including commitment to a partner and procreation. However, it’s essential to understand that the brain circuitry involved with sexual desire and orgasm creates stronger signals for our bodies than just about any other stimuli. Porn is like the ultimate candy for your brain. In fact, pornography has been called a supernormal stimulus by neuroscientists. This term comes from an experiment performed by nobel-prize-winning scientist Niko Tinbergen, where he examined the behaviors of butterflies. Interestingly, when the scientist introduced a fake butterfly with exaggerated colors, the butterflies chose to come and mate with it instead of their real counterparts.

What the butterflies didn’t realize is that if they continued to mate with the artificial butterfly, it would be their demise. Thus, a direct line of comparison was drawn to pornography. 

Along these lines, it’s also important to consider the impact of dopamine on pornography addiction, which you can read on our blog post that goes into more detail on the relationship between dopamine and porn here.

Root Cause #2 – Curiosity and Your Imagination

Root cause number two is one most guys don’t think about — Our ability to imagine things is powerful and often taken for granted. Imagining a better future and envisioning yourself becoming successful in something can bring a lot of motivation and achievement in one’s life. In fact, many of the richest and most successful people in the world claim that doing affirmations and imagining themselves becoming successful are among the most important habits they cultivated to send them to the top. 

Sadly, pornography addiction hijacks the brain and robs many men of their potential to use their imagination for better things. When you’re regularly using pornography, sexual fantasies begin to crowd out all other uses of your imagination because they occur in unhealthy proportions to your other thoughts.

For so many guys, it’s the same story with curiosity. When you were a boy, being curious was natural and super healthy. But when porn came along, its design was to use that same innocent curiosity to draw you in and get you hooked. 

So, one thing to think about here – are you exercising your curiosity and imagination in healthy ways? Introducing wholesome fantasy stories and novels, taking up a new hobby or going on some type of adventure are all ways you can start putting that part of your brain to good use again.

Root Cause #3 – Feeling a lack of Purpose

When counselor and researcher Jay Stringer surveyed thousands of men, one of the most powerful findings in his study was the association between pornography addiction and purposelessness. What he found was that a men were seven times more likely to escalate their pornography use when they did not have a clear sense of purpose. 

The most practical thing you could do here is ask yourself: is my sense of purpose clear in life right now? You may find that it was clearer a few years ago, but now you need to revisit your purpose and ground yourself in it again. Everyone drifts apart from their purpose and identity from time to time. But since life happens fast and circumstances change, you may need take some time for yourself to figure this part of your life out. Taking some time work out who you are and what you stand for could help tremendously in your efforts to quit pornography.

Henry David Thoreau the famous writer and naturalist once famously said: “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Let’s make it our goal to not be one of these men. It takes work and intention to stay connected to your purpose, but it’s nonnegotiable in your journey to overcome porn. Be sure not to skip over this root cause of pornography addiction, as it will take a process of vulnerable self-examination.

Root Cause #4 – A ‘Hyper-sexualized’ Society

In our culture, and indeed within many of the worlds cultures, sex is idolized and placed upon a pinnacle to the point where those who are not actively engaged in sexual activities begin to feel less-than and outcast. Growing up, we see this message in the movies and TV shows again and again to the point where sex has become an unspoken rite of passage but it is often promoted in an unhealthy way. The truth men internalize over time is that if we cannot get attention from the women our society deems most attractive, and if we cannot get them in bed, then we have failed as men and we are undesirable. 

This couldn’t be further from the truth, yet finding self-confidence and achieving a rite of passage into manhood without accepting our cultures beliefs on this matter is like swimming upstream against a powerfully flowing river. To win in this area, it truly takes a community of like-minded men to stand together and encourage one another towards a healthy identity and view of masculinity. Sex cannot be over-valued or under-valued, we must strive for the healthy balance if we are to overcome pornography addiction. 

Root Cause #5 – Emotional Avoidance – Looking for an Escape

Shame, fear, anxiety, worry, and depression are rampant in the world today, and have almost become the standard as we go about dealing with our day to day lives. Many men may feel like they aren’t caught up in worrying, when more accurately speaking they are simply not aware and pushing these feelings away. I will warn you, trying to escape your negative feelings is like pushing down a beach ball underwater. The harder you push, the more force will push back until it inevitably resurfaces. 

Men must learn to become aware of their emotions even as they are coming on, and then they must learn to process through their emotions to extract meaningful information. Experiencing emotions that don’t feel good is actually your body’s way of trying to tell you there’s something wrong you should stop and address in your life. It’s like a check engine light in a car. If you go on ignoring it, burning out is unavoidable. 

Root Cause #6 – Loneliness and Isolation in Pornography Addiction

Not surprisingly, Harvard’s longest study ever done on human happiness found that, out of hundreds of men who were meticulously studied, the men that were happiest were those who had warm, close, loving relationships (think spouses, family, social groups, and friends). 

On the flip side, the study found that lonliness kills. Robert Waldinger, who gave the famous Tedtalk on this Harvard study (which now has over 13 million views), concluded that “Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.”

There are so many lonely men in our society today. Mentors are scarce, and instead of learning from people we admire in-person, so many of us spend our hours of free time online, listening to big podcasters, watching youtube videos, and playing video games. 

And here’s the double whammy: the very things that are contributing to our loneliness are also medicating the pain of isolation because they are helping us to avoid the very feelings we need to be in tune with and take action on in order to get better. For many men, porn presents itself as the apex opportunity to escape the pain of loneliness and isolation. Very few things can drown out temporary, unwanted feelings like porn.

However, most of us who have struggled with pornography also know that while it appears to temporarily ‘medicate’ our problems, it actually works to exasperate them. Porn and loneliness are best friends together, and we often think we can get away with a little porn, not realizing how it drives us further into isolation. 

When it comes to porn and loneliness, we must stand by our integrity and realize that the things we are doing unseen are shaping who we are just the same as the things we’re doing out in the open. If we are not living in integrity this way, we must commit to transparency and community. These things will shine brightly against the darkness of loneliness and porn. This is exactly why Reclaimed exists. In our private community app, men can share their struggle, carry each other’s burdens, request prayers, practice transparency, and so much more. Our 10-week journey actually places men who are willing in small groups, which gives the best opportunity for learning to be transparent in this area of your life. If you’re a man who’s tired of doing this alone and looking to reach out in a community who gets what you’re going through, request to join the private app here.

Root Cause #7 – The Shame Associated With Pornography Addiction

Brenee Brown, famous for her research on shame, defines shame as “an intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” 

Shame feeds right into those feelings of loneliness and isolation we talked about, and all of these together have a negative compounding effect on our mental health. When we’ve tried to quit porn alone but have failed at it for so long, we begin to tell ourselves certain ugly narratives, and we begin to accept those narratives as true. 

For example, when we’re struggling to quit porn, shame comes in with an audible voice to tell us “You must not love your family enough. You must not love God enough. You can’t discipline yourself to do anything. You’ll never get it together. You are a despicable person.” Having this view of ourselves is not only untrue and against what God has said about us, it’s also feeding the porn problem.

What’s important to understand is that at the core of our shame is often a misunderstood or forgotten identity. For example, if you are a person of faith or believe in God, you may believe that you were created by God in His image. This has enormous implications for your identity. This would mean that the same power that made your brain and body lives within you, and that the same power is capable of healing you and so much more. However, so many of us forget our true identities when we get lost in the sea of contemporary ideas and messages all trying to tell us who we are. It also doesn’t help if you lack a community who is able to speak certain truth over you in times when you need to hear it.

If you’re struggling with shame, take some time to connect with your true identity. Don’t just tell yourself that you are worthy of love and capable of healing. Spend some time in prayerful contemplation really dwelling on it. Do the necessary work in order to believe it. For Christians, we recommend looking at the thousands of scriptures that can speak affirmation and identity right into the core of who you are.  

Root Cause #8 – Trauma and Abuse

Sexual abuse is an enormous problem in our society and it occurs more often than any of us would like to admit or talk about. Many online sources such as Rainn.org cite a survey done in 1998 by the National Institute of Justice that as much as 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. 

What’s often not talked about is that there’s also a prevalence of male sexual abuse especially in boys. One study found in the Journal of Adolescent Health estimated that as many as 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult.

Sexual abuse and molestation among boys is a far more serious issue than most men realize, and it’s more common than you probably think. Many men who had an experience with this when they were younger have suppressed it and don’t realize how it may be influencing their current arousal template, sexual desires, and problem with pornography.

What we know from studying the impact of trauma and abuse is that it often leaves an imprint that must be processed through in a healing manner. When left unattended, the effects of abuse often linger even throughout several of life’s developmental stages. It’s unbelievable how many men are living out of the wounds they experienced all those years ago when they were a little boy. 

Thankfully, work and research done by today’s leading authors and therapists such as Jay Stringer are helping people understand that their problems and heartache can actually serve as a guide, acting as a roadmap to deep and holistic healing. We strive to take this approach in all of our coaching and programs here at Reclaimed – but my biggest advice to you if you’ve had an incident in your past that you’ve never opened up about is to find a local professionally trained counselor near you. Don’t just go and see anyone – do some homework to find someone who comes with high reviews and high regard in your community who also operates out of a relatively similar worldview (this is especially important if you are a spiritual person seeking spiritual guidance and healing as a part of your journey). Seeing a counselor who has specific experience in dealing with sexual abuse could complete a huge piece of your puzzle to end your behaviors with porn.

Root Cause #9 – Misguided Devotion and Pursuing the Wrong Things

Deep down, human beings are driven by the pursuit of something greater than themselves. We all love getting caught up in magnificent stories, and we certainly love to see them on the big screen. An easy example of this is that we naturally want to devote ourselves to sports teams, to lift them up and root for them to overcome the odds and achieve victory. People often get so caught up in games that they’ll become a totally different person, screaming and yelling and doing the craziest things (every family has at least one sports crazy, y’all know what I’m talking about). 

There’s nothing wrong with rooting for our sports teams or getting excited about them. I love watching great game and getting into it. The problem is that we are often too quick to place these things in the center of our lives, and we often get our priorities mixed up. If it’s not sports, it’s a devotion to our possessions, like our bank accounts, vehicles, and homes. Or, we attache ourselves in unhealthy ways to other hobbies and ideal lifestyles. The problem is, all of these things are fun and bring benefits, but many of them lack substance to grow us in our spiritual lives and in our character. When all of these things get prioritized over our relationships and the deep matters of the soul, what often results is a wandering heart and a lost identity. 

This natural capacity to devote ourselves to something is often quick to latch itself to the wrong things, and it takes intentionality to ensure that we are devoted to what’s truly most important in our lives. When we are truly focused on and devoted to what’s most important, we often build the kind of character and integrity needed to live free of pornography addiction. 

Root Cause #10 – Dulled-Down and Unmet Desires

The last root cause of pornography addiction I’d like to discuss is with unmet and dulled-down desires. This is similar to our last root cause we discussed (number 9), where we talked about misplaced devotion. Devoting ourselves to something specific may indicate one strong and compelling desire, but we have many more desires. Consider some of these desires below and ask yourself if these ring true for you:

• • • • Certainty – We all want the assurance that we will be safe, and that we will be able to avoid pain and feel pleasure. 
    • • Uncertainty – We all have a desire to experience the unknown, to undergo change, and to embark on adventure.
    • • Significance – We desire a feeling of uniqueness and importance. We all want to feel heard and seen. 
    • • Love and Connection – We yearn for a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something. We want to be pursued and desired, and to experience intimacy.
    • • Growth – We need opportunities to expand our capacity, skills, and understanding. We want to reach for higher potential and self-awareness. 
    • • Contribution – a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others. 
    • • Worship – A desire to worship and give our devotion to following someone or something (this can range from your favorite sports team to your children to God). 

What often happens to men struggling with porn is that at least one of these desires is going unmet in the background of their life, and they are turning to porn to try and meet the pain they feel as a result. One challenge is that porn actually does temporarily meet their desire by giving them pleasure and possibly even other feelings like power and control over their situation and mental health. Sadly, the effectiveness of porn is always temporary, and ultimately destructive, to the effect that it leaves us feeling even more empty and further away from our desires in the end. Porn will always water our desires down and dull them so that we are never able to fully experience the happiness, joy, and satisfaction we’re meant to have.

Our desires are often good at their core, but we get confused on how to best meet them, and we find ourselves stuck in finding healthy ways fulfill them. So, we settle for meeting them with something less, and in the case of porn, MUCH less. If you’ve never thought of struggling with porn in light of unmet, Godly desires, then I’d encourage you to take some time to listen and tune in to your own life. What are those desires in your life going unmet right now? How is porn trying to be a solution for those desires? Write those things down and you will have taken one step closer to overcoming porn for good. And remember, the revealing comes before the healing. 

That’s it for this article on root causes of porn addicition. Stay on the lookout for upcoming blog posts that focus on each of these root causes in more depth, and if you’re new here, check out our other resources including our podcast (the Reclaimed Recovery Podcast), our private app, and our E-book on the 5 Essential Shifts to Porn Recovery.